Armchair Diplomat

It's hard to cuddle an Xbox with both of your faces in shot

That’s right, because today was the return of the mack!

After two and a bit weeks Xbox-less, my bouncing baby boy is back from hospital.  I’ve once again carefully saved the sculpted foam packaging and coffin, just to be prudent.  You know, not because I’m being fatalist or anything.

Well in any case, the reason I’m so happy its home is because I was recently the winner of Shadow Complex (with many thanks to Gamer Limit).  While I was really happy about winning (especially after draining over 9000 hours into Google Images), irony of ironies, I had no friggin’ console to download my ill-gotten gains to.

I’ve heard fantastic things about the game, so I’ve been looking forward to getting it downloaded.  So now my Xbox is back, imagine my disappointment then when I find out that Xbox Live is experiencing difficulty tonight in the AU.  Oh dear.  This means, between my dodgy, capped internet and Xbox Live being stuffed that I’ve managed a WHOLE 6% DOWNLOADED in three and a half hours.  Sigh.

Looks like we’ll be getting that one reviewed later this week!

Will the darkness never end?  At the end of this week, Matt’s Xbox is sitting in the post office waiting to be collected on Monday … or so he hopes.  But what of the week’s gaming goings on?

What Mark Played:

Mark hereby promises to fill in this section after he’s done with his problem gambling at Crown Casino!

Hey! Playing the pokies is exactly like playing video games: 5 button controller, and an ‘apprently’ achievable goal. They only problem is the game is always set on hard, and you can only finish the single player when you run out of dosh.

Games? Yeah! Okay, played some Baldur’s Gate 2. Damn it, its fun.

Also some Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 over the weekend … that game is a bit too much fun. Matty handed back my Xbox, shedding a single tear, and requesting some cookie dough. There there *pat on head*. Hopefully, He will be able to pick it up soon, and return to the gaming goodness fold!

It has been a relatively quiet gaming week, as between working at work and then working at home to launch one of my projects, there leaves little time to game, either at work or at home/work.

What Matt Played:

I’ve been back to Mass Effect this week to try out it’s new DLC, which was alright content-wise, but was nowhere near long enough.  Apart from that, I’ve actually been helping a friend of mine complete his first every run-through of Secret of Monkey Island, a game who’s solution is so deeply ingrained on my brain, I could troubleshoot from the next room with questions like: “Hey, I’m at this guy and I can’t get past him”.

Fingers crossed for my delivery tomorrow, I can’t think of anything else I’ve ordered online recently, so I’m just assuming that it’s my Xbox being returned.  Although I could be setting myself up for disappointment if I’m actually collecting an absently purchased t-shirt.  Hmmmm.

I'd like to thank the Joker, my mother and father, God rest their souls ...

See here’s a feel good story for your Sunday.  Apparently, so overwhelmed were the Guinness World Records people by the amount of love shown to the recently released (everywhere but in the AU that is) Batman: Arkham Asylum, well they just went on ahead and gave it a World Record.

What World Record can you set by releasing a game, you ask?  “Most Copies Sold On Presale”?  “Fastest Transition To Platinum”?  No, even higher than those dizzying heights, Batman: Arkham Asylum has been awarded the “Most Critically Acclaimed Superhero Game Ever” World Record.

The record was awarded after preliminary reviews aggregated on Metacritic gave Batman: AA a 91 average.

So everyone thinks the game is pretty awesome, and no-one is denying that.  I’m certainly all for more milestones set in Guinness style for games and gamers, but can I quickly ask, which game held this record before Batman: AA took it?  Because if there isn’t one, and we’re only two days out from release, then this kind of reeks of PR spin.  We’re talking a very specific field of achievement here.  They might as well have awarded it “Most Critically Acclaimed Batman Game Released In August 2009 With Exception To The AU Region”, for what the award seems to be saying.

And all timed nicely to tie in with the game’s public release date.  Coincidence?  Yeah right.  Take a gander at the press release for yourself.

Apparently someone voided this sticker a long time ago, and yet Sony still put it in their PS3 Slim

For anyone curious about the sexier, thinner workings of the new PlayStation 3 Slim (now with double lemon scent!), case modder Ben Heckendorn has taken it upon himself to buy a brand new console … then tear it apart.

In a nice long and detailed post, Ben strips the slim little beast down to it’s bare bones to show you how everything is put together. Even better, he’s taken photos along the way, for all those tech-heads who enjoy the sight of a console’s gory innards.

I admire any man who’s first instinct with a brand new model console is to rip it apart and see if he can make it better somehow. Apparently, according to Ben (who’s the brains and soldering brawn behind both the Xbox 360 and Commodore 64 laptop) now that he’s ripped apart his Slim and solidly voided it’s warranty:

…guess I’ll just have to make a laptop out of it!

I look forward to the new PS3 Double Ultra Slim Lite … even if that name does sound more and more like a tampon brand. In the meantime, check out the mechanical carnage yourself!

The funniest part about the entire thing is the smarmy Salarian

Pinnacle Station is the second DLC package available for Mass Effect.  It was released recently with as little fuss as possible, save a few early listed achievements and a rumoured Swedish “leak”.  It’s release coincides with Mass Effect’s new availability with Games On Demand.

The downloadable chapter itself covers a fun, yet basic series of combat simulations.  Players can choose four seperate objectives to test themselves on, against scores posted by other NPCs.  The categories are Hunt, Time Trial, Capture and Survival, each of which you can run in three different cycling locales.

Most of the different challenges are quite simple if you’ve advanced your character far enough.  My Shepard was already at level 50 when I attempted the Pinnacle Station mission, so all the combat challenges didn’t really phase me much.  The Hunt and Survival simulations are simple shooting galleries, which have records that are easily beaten by anyone with high stats.  I lasted over ten minutes in one of the Survival scenarios, and ended up letting the opponents beat me just to end it.  The high score was about a minute and a half.

Read more

For anyone of you folk who downloaded the latest Tales of Monkey Island episode the moment it came out, you may have noticed certain samples of poor qualty audio.  A lot of other players certainly have.  As a bit of quality control, Telltale has re-released Siege of Spinner Cay’s installer with higher quality audio sampling.

If you’re wondering if this applies to you, go to the conversation you have with Elaine in the Spinner Cay throne room, and listen to Elaine’s “s” sounds.  If you can hear crackle or hiss, it’s not just your computer, your install is one of those running with sub-par audio.

Head over to the Telltale website to redownload the installer!

Defame now, my Lord!

Well known for their spamtastic advertising campaigns, questionable online multiplayer game Evony has resorted to some even more questionable tactics to silence their biggest critics.  Bruce Everiss, who runs the gaming blog Bruce On Games, is being sued in our lovely little mother country of Australia for apparent “publication of defamatory material“.

Now setting aside the obvious dick move on UMGE’s part by suing a UK blogger in Australia for a game owned by a Chinese company who’s servers are in America, doesn’t something have to be proved to be incorrect to technically be defamatory?  I’m sure we’re all happily waiting to see the evidence refuting Bruce’s claims (it means our spam filters could sleep easier at night).

The company has obviously also lodged a complaint with The Guardian over their article on Evony, which now sports a nifty little “This article is the subject of a legal complaint from Evony LLC” header.  No indications yet on how wide-spread the legal canvassing will be, but given that there are hundreds of sites critical of Evony, including ours, you’d better hope they consider the environment and use recycled paper for all the legal notices.

In the mean time, all their legal posturing only seems to be stirring up further publicity for the game’s shadier side, which kind of defeats the purpose of attempting to silence their critics in the first place.

Check out Bruce’s post, as he’s happily posted the entire legal notice, including the apology Evony wants him to publish, on his site.  He also encourages any and all re-posting of his previous Evony related critical posts.

On an amusing side note, apparently Evony will pay you in-game currency to publish a review of the game.  Sounds like a sensible way to gain multiple, totally unbiased reviews if you ask me! /sarcasm

Surprise attack DLC!

Looks like it’s a Mass Effect kind of day.

The game’s second DLC package, Pinnacle Station, has been made available for download on Xbox Live.

The new pack had previously been thought to be accidentally released early in Sweden and Switzerland.  Some thought it might be a leak, but if it was BioWare has simply gone right ahead and released the content anyway.  Presumably it’s release was timed to coincide with Mass Effect’s new availability via Games On Demand.

Pinnacle Station costs 400 MS Points, and apparently gives about 2-3 hours of new gameplay based around arena combat challenges.  It’s even got some new achievements to collect.  I’ve got it on the queue to download, so impressions will be on the way soon.

Take a look over on Marketplace.

Such utter fail.

“darkestofdays.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close.  We are sorry for the inconvenience.”

Well, that was a tremendous let down.

Click “New Game” and nothing but an error. At least, it would have been funny had I somehow got this happening:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwte0GQ8puo

*sigh*

*** UPDATE ***

Apparently, the version of the demo they released was naffed. Alas, a new one has come out, and downloading will ensue.

A post-post demo review, perhaps? Wait and see.

The logo looks like its outta Doctor Who.

Yep, I know what y’all are thinking. How can one do a review before playing a game?

Easy. I’m going to list all my hopes and dreams, after seeing the trailer (which I just saw).

Okay, from the trailer, this is what I took away:

• You are some sorta dude from the future.
• You’re being instructed in all manner of firearms so you can deal with events and battles that take place in the, wait for it … past.
• The weapons range from American Civil war to WW1, modern combat as well as beating the shit outta Roman centurians with a shotgun. A fucking shotgun, son.
• Sweet.

Okay, so I may seem a little excited, and I’m installing it now. As we speak.

And a quick whip around of Google Images also shows this gem.

Yeah, I’m kinda salivating. Dylan (one o’ my housemates) has talked this game up on the drive into work for a few days now, so I’m quite keen. 50 seconds to copy it onto my machine now.

10 seconds…

Loading the installer.

So, the trailer not only references historical weapons like the Springfield musket, the Gewehr 1898, and some futustic rocket launchers, assault rifles … and something like a gauss cannon … shit.

Almost installed…

And I’ve checked “Yes, I want to play Darkest of Days now.”

Back in a while.