I downloaded the Lost Planet 2 demo on the basis of one little hyphenated word: co-op.  Of course, as usual, I’ve managed to grab myself an online co-op game as opposed to a split-screen one.

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*Artists impression of the complaints line for Street Brawl

There’s been a fair few decent games coming out on XBLA recently, mostly as part of Microsoft’s Summer/Winter of Arcade (check your local seasons for details!).  But I was looking over the trailers for the upcoming arcade title The Warriors: Street Brawl, and I can’t help but feel less than inspired.

It looks bland, unexciting and visually lacklustre, which is a highly unfortunate thing considering the awesome nature of the source material.  The Warriors is one of my favourite cult films, and while it does revolve around brawling gangs, you’ve kind of missed the fun of the movie if that’s all you condense it down to.  Rockstar has already managed to make a great video game adaptation of The Warriors, and it worked because the dev team were obviously fans of the movie.  But from what I can see in Street Brawl‘s trailers, we’re looking at a Double Dragon clone, reskinned to hopefully cash in on the people who enjoyed either the film or Rockstar’s adaptation.

To give you an example of why I don’t think this game is going to do the movie justice, I’ll ask you one question: What the fuck are The Warriors doing fighting with The Lizzies?  While the movie certainly portrays The Lizzies as a gang not to be messed with, their main weapon was seduction and a surprise pistol, and they certainly weren’t about to toe-to-toe fist fight with another gang.  But apparently that doesn’t make enough sense for the creators of Street Brawl, who just see another well known gang from the movie that they have to incorporate.

The game doesn’t have a set release date yet, other than “this summer”, so presumably it’s going to be released soon (especially if they’ve just started pimping out trailers after a long gap).  I think this is going to be one of those “stay ye well clear” titles.

I’ll be happy to be proved wrong, but for right now: No, I can’t dig this.  Microsoft should just go right ahead and re-release Rockstar’s The Warriors on 360 Originals, and we’ll all be happy.

Here’s comic number 2, so fresh off the Photoshop that the pixels haven’t even had time to dry yet. This month’s comic is all about a game that everyone here at Armchair Diplomat is looking forward to: Mass Effect 2!

So for a while now BioWare have been teasing their Twitter followers with cryptic updates on ME2‘s development. I figured “Why wait for them to tell us about it, when we all know what it’s going to be?” Read on, for the comic!

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See to me, I think even this is too flashy

Here’s one I missed from around a week back. Apparently in a recent podcast interview with Total PC Gaming, Telltale Games’ director of design Dave Grossman mused pointedly at the idea of resurrecting LucasArts’ adventure classic LOOM.

Many people were overjoyed with the idea of seeing one of their childhood classics back on the scene. Others, like me, are a little more skeptical about the idea. Here’s a transcripted section of the interview:

The one I always think about these days is Loom actually, and how ahead of it’s time it was. I think the problem with it at the time was that it was only two and a half hours long and now I find myself deliberately trying to design games that are only two and a half hours long. So I think … well, why not do that?

-Dave Grossman, raider of the Lucas Arts

Now I loved LOOM. It’s unique design and gameplay made it one of the greatest adventure games ever to come out of the then LucasFilm stable. But something about creating it’s sequels doesn’t seem right, at least in my mind.

To me, the charm of LOOM was in it’s simple design and basic yet rich VGA graphics. I’m probably in a small minority of people who thought that the CD-ROM version of the game actually spoiled the mood.

At the time of it’s original creation, LOOM‘s creator Brian Moriarty did pen two sequels, even though actually producing them was “just talk”. Now it seems they might see the light of day, and only about twenty years after they were written. The sequels, called “Forge” and “The Fold“, revolved around the characters that Bobbin leaves behind after tearing the Pattern at the end of of the first game. Bobbin then acts in an advisory capacity, helping his stranded friends to fight against Chaos, who still retains control over half of the original Pattern.

It would be a big undertaking for Telltale, if they were to go ahead with it. While the first game is essentially aimed at a family friendly level, it also contained more of an adult feel than the carefree, laugh-along examples provided by Monkey Island and Sam and Max. So could Telltale take on something that is both funny but deep at the same time? It’d break away from their body of work so far, it’s true, but it’s probably something that the team would relish the challenge of.

If they could accomplish it, then the only remaining hurdle would be convincing old-school weirdos like myself that it could live up to it’s predecessor!

Take a look at the interview article.

Activision reps have spelled it out for the crew at Destructoid: DLC made for Guitar Hero 5 (such as the newly announced Rolling Stones tracks) won’t be compatible with Guitar Hero: World Tour.  This is primarily because of changing elements in the charts themselves (which if we understand this right, now have 13% more “weedilie”).  While some people are shocked, most gamers just expected it this way and are therefore not causing a fuss.

However Activision are quick to remind everyone that you can roll forward all your current DLC, and tracks from both World Tour and Greatest Hits.  This includes the god-awful version of Dueling Banjos that one poor writer just downloaded without first previewing, only to find out it was a load of electric guitar wank rather than a classic and entertaining banjo duel.  I guess I wasn’t going to use that 160 MS points for anything interesting anyway.

This week I learned that Mark’s wifi doesn’t actually extend it’s range all the way up to the top of the house he lives in. I also learned that “seven to fourteen days for repairs” better mean that my Xbox is getting delivered home tomorrow, or I might have to grab a pack of biscuits and jump back in the shower …

What Matt Played:

I played through the new Tales of Monkey Island this week, although to be frank, that didn’t actually take up much of my time. I’ve also been rage quitting Tiger Woods 10 at least once a day trying to finish up one of the last Tournament Challenges. My cries of frustration can be heard far away in space (there were no screams, there was no time, the mountain called Monkey had spoken). I also failed at an attempt to try out the newly downloaded Section 8 beta. Sigh.

What Mark Played:

-Mark hereby promises to fill in this week’s gaming experiences after he sobers up-

And sobered! Okay, apologies for the lateness of my gaming postingness. So, games this week… hmmm.

Without an Xbox (Bastard! [oh, I saw Inglourious Basterds this week too ... very, very good]), I was reduced to playing my way through (eugh…) PC games.

So, I felt like cracking out the ol’ school classics: Quake (as in QuakeLive), and Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn.

QuakeLive is truly a masterpiece.  What once clogged up our CPU to 100% now is a browser plugin, in-between facebook and the news sites.

Baldur’s Gate reminds me of the countless hours I used to play of this, way back when. So much clicking, selecting, casting magic fucking missiles. And cursing. Don’t forget the cursing. So much swearing when an enemy wizard is messing my shit up. But, gee, I miss those days.

The new Xbox 360i. It's six times the slim of "another leading brand"!

A very interesting article on Industry Gamers has taken a bit of a vox pop with leading video game analysts to ask them “What are the chances of seeing an Xbox 360 Slim?“.  Now that the PS3 Slim has been confirmed, and everyone has decided to fire up MS Paint to make “confirmed” concept images of a slimmer Xbox 360 instead, it’s nice to hear some thoughtful and interesting opinions on the topic.  Here’s a quick excerpt:

Any reduction in the physical size of a console certainly adds a lot of financial benefits to the manufacturer. A reduced size decreases shipping costs, packaging material, and increases retail shelve space. There are costs, however, such as the cost to re-engineer a new console as well as the cost to modifying the manufacturing process. If the distribution benefits outweigh the costs, Microsoft should (and likely will) one day release a smaller Xbox 360 unit.

-Jesse Divnich from EEDAR

Now while advice and opinions from experts is always a good start for a discussion on any particular topic, we all know what we’re talking about the evolution of here.  Yes, it’s the Xbox 360i™ Lite VX (promotional shot top left).

Sony’s announcement of the PlayStation 3 Slim has started another skirmish in the theatre of console war.  A proverbial “Battle of the Bulge” if you will (not a literal one, obviously, the Ardennes have seen enough bloodshed). While at the beginning of this generation of consoles the race was presumably between technology and computing power, it has recently turned to size, and as the old adage goes: it’s not how big your console is, it’s how you use it.

Some may argue that no-one looks at the entertainment unit while they’re stoking the fire.  Others that a PSOne in the hand is worth a PS2 in the bush.  An even more vocal majority would quip that if it ain’t broken, Microsoft didn’t build it.

And that last adage (I promise!) is kind of the point.  While I’m sure all us narcissistic Xbox consolers would just love a tighter, curvier and slimmer version of our beloved entertainment unit, has anyone stopped to quickly consider the consequences of such cosmetic undertaking?  If the Xbox 360 has an assumed fail rate of around 40% (I’m being generous, I know) at present, with all of the air-venting, bulky fans and heat sinks, what chance would it stand if we crammed it all into a unit the size of your average VHS cassette?

So while we’d all like to think of a brighter future that includes the Xbox 360i™ Lite Limited Edition (Now with Septuple-xCore™ technology!), please don’t forget that you should check the batteries in your smoke alarms at the beginning of both the financial AND calendar year!

In less longwinded fashion, do take a look at the original article, it has actual sane opinions on the matter.

Wait no longer, adventure enthusiasts!

Has it really been six weeks since we got our hands on Launch of the Screaming Narwhal? It seems like the time has positively flown by. It was just a short month and a half ago that we were wandering around Flotsam Island, desperately attempting to figure out how to change the winds, and what the hell was happening to our hand.

Well the new installment is here. Episode 2 of Tales of Monkey Island, titled The Siege of Spinner Cay, continues Guybrush’s adventures in the Gulf of Melange as he attempts to reunite with his wife. We rejoin Guybrush where we left him in the last episode: about to get his head chopped off by an unknown female assailant.

The sinister sword-swinging assassin turns out to be Morgan LeFlay, one of the Carribean’s top pirate hunters, who has been retained by the Marquis DeSinge to return Guybrush to Flotsam Island for scientific experiments on his poxed hand. Settling for simply chopping off his hand instead, Guybrush is left to singlehandedly (badumching) defeat LeFlay and reclaim his ship.

This leaves Guybrush to replace his lost hand with a hook, something which he (as a pirate) has no problems with, and sail on to the Jerkbait Islands to find Elaine. (more…)

Well, after the competition was unceremoniously removed, anyway.

The results of the Sega Genesis 20th Anniversary poll have been finalised, and named funky fresh alien duo Toejam and Earl the winners.

Toejam (right) and Earl (left) as they appear in game

The classic title revolves around helping two aliens from the planet Funkatron retrieve pieces of their broken spaceship so they can get off the planet Earth.  To do so they use a combination of different contraptions, recovered from scattered Christmas presents, from rocket boots to tomato slingshots.

The game is unique for it’s sense of humour and catchy slap-bass funk soundtrack.  The game even includes splitscreen co-op and a basic character level system, something that was a little ahead of it’s time.  No announcement as to how much it’ll cost on XBLA arcade yet, but if the price fits and you’ve never played it before, I’d definitely consider picking this one up, it’s a real gem.

Good news out of an interview by MCV UK with the head of MTV Games, Scott Guthrie, who has announced that Rock Band 3 is currently under development by Harmonix.  Here’s the important slice:

MCV: So for those tent pole releases, what happens after The Beatles game – what’s coming in 2010? Another major artist game? Or Rock Band 3?

Guthrie: We’re exploring both – and possibly will do both. The Harmonix development team are working on what is effectively the next game, or ‘Rock Band 3’. We aren’t standing still – we will keep moving into new areas and look at new technologies that our platform holder partners are also developing, such as Project Natal from Microsoft. We’re working with them to pull some things together.

Front men sometimes skip 3 and go straight to 4

This is fantastic news for fans of the series although, when you think about it, if Rock Band 3 is coming in 2010, will it be another example of how the sequel will be released before the prior game sees retail in Australia?  Rock Band 2 still hasn’t officially touched Australian shores, and I think MTV Games should really be lifting their game on this one (preferably lifting it into cargo containers and shipping it Down Under).  The interview even mentions how they’re attempting to get away from the hardware sales now and just into software and DLC, so what’s the big problem?

Eh, doesn’t matter, I’ve already got my copy.

Anyway, anyone who is a fan of the music genre should really check this interview out.  Not only for the obvious big news, but also to take a look at the comparison that Guthrie makes between the GH and RB series.  If you ask me, it’s obvious that Harmonix have got their heads screwed on straight, preferring to work with flexible DLC rather than just release a band themed disc every three weeks and expect people to pay full price.  It’s a very interesting contrast.