New Nintendo controller patent application: #0005

It seems while the focus of most gaming accessories seems to be on entertainment, there are still a few companies who are willing to put the time and effort into producing console versions of household tools.

This week’s new controller patent, developed by “top scientific minds”, continues this lesser known tradition in housework simulation. Care to get in touch with your inner maid?

Model# KLN-446: Wii-mote “Household Chore” Expansion Kit

Toilet Brush, "Weegee" Squeegee and Bleach Bottle extensions sold seperately

Ever since early childhood, gamers have battled with household duties. It’s tough to run a clean house AND make it through the pedicopter levels of Alex Kidd. Both are such a drain of time and effort that it’s always been a case of “do one or the other”.

This is where the Wiimote Household Chore Expansion Kit comes into play. Comissioned by a coalition of wives, housemates and mothers of gamers across the world, this expansion kit allows players to gain valuable practice by simulating real-life chores.

The kit bundles together a collection of Wiimote extenders, including the Broom Extender, Vacuum Extender, Mop and Bucket Extender, along with a couple more (see Fig. 2). Players are presented with a customisable messy house, and awarded points depending on the speed with which they clean it up. By switching the Wiimote’s extender, players can swap what cleaning implement currently in use by their avatar.

The plan to gently introduce cleaning up as a game could backfire catastrophically however, when expectant cohabitors return home to find the gamer’s virtual room clean as a whistle while the actual house remains neglected (see Fig. 1)

Tom Hanks is like *this* close to legal action

The “Household Chore” Expansion Kit will be initially sold as a stand-alone accessory pack (see Fig. 3), with hopeful partners and OCD sufferers having to purchase the standard title WiiClean seperately. For those looking to splash a little more cash however, a premium title will also be released for the HCEK. The premium title, Mario Bachelor Party, sees up to eight players co-operatively cleaning Princess Peach’s castle of any incriminating evidence of the previous night’s celebrations.

In a style similar to the original Home Alone games for PC, players are given a short amount of time to prepare as much of the castle as possible before Peach’s return, and then must clean around the unsuspecting Peach until the castle is completely sanitised. Each round one player is rotated into the role of Mario. It’s Mario’s job to divert Peach from dirtier areas of the castle, perpetuate hilariously unlikely reasons for the random noises of other players, and all while chewing enough mints to keep the smell of Fire Flower off his breath.

The Wiimote Household Chore Expansion Kit will hit shelves in the first quarter of 2010, only to soon be made redundant by the Wiimote Swivel Sweeper Extender (at the low, low price of only seven installments of $49.95!).

Note: This peripheral is Wii Vitality Sensor compatible

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