Dante's DLC achievements detailed, Master Gee unamused

Even the roller-disco guy behind Master Gee seems unimpressed...

Have you ever downloaded a demo for a game, and it turns out it’s just no good?  I mean the gameplay’s average, the story’s a mess and the nudity deserves no wood!  But you try to play it off, think it artistic licence, or that the devs are just playing the fool … but then you impale Death with his scythe, shoot explosions from a cross and you realise “Nuh-uh, it’s bull!”

Well the ever-helpful folk over at Achievement Hunter have posted up a few interesting images this week.  They’ve managed to get their hands on the achievement list for the “Dark Forest” DLC pack that will be released for Dante’s Inferno sometime after it’s release.  It must have been a tough slog for a while there, but the leaked achievements manage to live up to the level of class we’ve come to expect from anything surrounding Dante’s Inferno.

Achievements like “Just the Tip”, “Wacko Jacko” and “Cruici-f**ked” could all be making their way to your gamer profile soon … well, maybe as soon as Dante’s Inferno is available for $20 in the pre-owned bin I guess.  The one that really caught my eye, however, was “Crapper’s Delight” which requires you to get covered in five different types of demon shit.

I must have missed the part in the Divine Comedy that covered that particular part in Alighieri’s journey.  Maybe my Latin translation isn’t up to scratch.

So not content with ruining old school literature, the developers are also looking to ruin some old school hip-hop for me by crowbarring in an awful pun based on the works of the Sugarhill Gang.  For shame, Visceral, for shame.  So deep was my face-palming that I was forced to find an image of Master Gee looking all: “Oh no they didn’t!”

Head on over to Achievement Hunter to check out the full list of DLC achievements.  They’re all just as high-brow, I promise.