Bayonetta Review
Written on April 8, 2010 by Jess
Bayonetta? I hardly knew her!
Bayonetta is, from my perspective, a button masher’s dream game. Just like in the old Street Fighter games of yore, if you learned 4 moves through mashing trial and error, you are set for the rest of the game. Add to that some amusingly thought up moves, gore, unlimited ammo and some decently executed quick-time events and you have me hooked.
I am not the finesse player that the guys are, sadly. As I’ve said before, I primarily like games for their storylines, not how many achievements I can get for twisting my fingers into arthritic pretzels. Over-intricate gameplay and punishing difficulty often get in the way, same with sidequests, achievements, leveling up and poor writing. Fuck that shit, man. Too hard.
Or that’s what I would be saying, if I hadn’t been converted. Sigh, I am just too easy.
Though, please don’t take that ‘easy’ comment as some kind of lead-in/segway to how trampy Bayonetta herself is, because Bayonetta, as a game and as a character, has attracted some fairly heated discussion on the nature of female protagonists and sensuality in games. Although certainly not the first over-stylised female character in gaming history (remind me to pick up Dead or Alive: Paradise when I get the chence), she has drawn the wrath of feminists, those supposedly rare, idolised ‘girl gamers’ and the politically correct. Her overtly sexual nature, the way she is presented in the game and even the dimensions of her body are apparently an affront to women everywhere.
However, my problem is that as a female, I just don’t get it. Why is she so offensive?
The argument is that in creating her, Platinum Games’ Little Angels Team have designed a woman who is over 6ft tall, with shapely legs longer than the rest of her body. They’ve taken the stereotypical Ideal Female Form and run away with it to a neon lit room, stretched it into something insane, then gave it stripper heels to wear and little else. Well, actually they let her have her own hair as a catsuit which conveniently disappears when in use for combat. Bayonetta also wears glasses and sucks on lollypops. When she *does* wear clothing, it gets ripped off at amazingly accurate places on her body with an accompanying moan. One of her attacks involves her twirling around a pole, legs spread wide. She dances sexily in some cut scenes. She walks with an exaggerated swagger, hand on hips (hips that would have otherwise been violently dislocated by any actual human attempting to mimic her walk).
But it doesn’t stop there…
She’s also presented as intelligent, sharp tongued, highly skilled and self reliant. She is physically powerful, aware of her sexuality as a weapon even as she spurns all attraction to herself with a quick wit. In fact, she seems to be the ultimate tease – sexually provocative yet chaste. She is violent, sure, but it’s not against humans. In fact, her strong protective instinct is shown over and over as she puts herself on the line for a small child and an annoying boyish reporter. Bayonetta has self confidence, a sense of humour and a positive attitude, even if she is a bit standoffish. She takes responsibility for her actions and decisions without whinging, crying or blaming someone else. Holy shit, this sounds suspiciously like a positive role model. SOMEONE CALL THE WHAMBULANCE.
It takes a lot of hair to make a giant foot, let alone the fabulous heels
Ahem. With all this focus on the character, there is the hint that perhaps the gameplay isn’t up scratch. Why else would they have everyone focus on the T&A, right? Wrong. Like Devil May Cry and other action titles of it’s ilk, Bayonetta‘s gameplay is smooth, responsive and battery powered almost organic. The targeting system is responsive and while the camera can sometimes make it a little hard to judge combos, the dodge system is great. You get just enough warning to make you feel like it was your idea all along, and also to acknowledge your own failure if you end up getting hit. Once you master that there’s the fun of Witch Time, which slows time so you can string together multiple attacks, and ‘Torture’ moves: gory and over the top finishing attacks that range from an enormous Iron Maiden to some kind of horse … sex toy … thing.
While yes, you can get through the game on buttonmash difficulty, there is are sharply ramping difficulty levels that almost insists that you learn specific moves to get past some enemies, or at least earn enough coin to buy new moves as fast as possible. Suffice to say, I did not get very far when trying the harder end of the scale, which was insanely difficult. Even Matt, who usually enjoys the challenge of higher difficulty games, was constructing strings of expletives that have possibly scarred our neighbour’s children for life upon recieving yet another stone or bronze trophy for his efforts. I did find the loading screen a great way to practice the moves and attempt new ones, so bonus points for that. It also tallies the number of times you’ve used a particular move, which can often shame you into attempting new approaches. There’s also dinky little mini-game called “Angel Attack”, an arcade-style shooter to get extra shop-coin and items at the end of each chapter. It’s quite fun and, unlike some other mini-games, I actually bothered to put in some effort. Though I will never be able to hear ‘Fly Me To The Moon’ in the same way again.
That is some truly wonderful rendering...
Platinum Games have obviously gone to a lot of trouble to make this game fun, which is why the hundred or so combo moves are worth attempting. Bayonetta is just such fun to watch in action. Breakdance fighting your way through some gnarly-looking technomashup angels? Brilliant. Flip into a handstand and waste enemies with rocket-launchers attatched to your heels? Hilarious. The elaborate magic-fueled action slots seamlessly into the plot too, without overwhelming it. You could almost believe that a highly trained witch can kick the arse of all the Cardinal Virtues personified by using gun-heeled boots and insane dance moves.
The over the top femininity, a cheesy soundtrack, quirky sidegames and an epic plot combine into a fun and engaging action game. It’s going to turn a few of people away with it’s full on sensual nature however, so not one for the easily embarrassed. They might feel a tad dirty playing this one. Apart from a massive jump in difficulty from Easy to Normal, I’d recommend it to absolutely anyone. It’s great for both finesse players and bumble fingers like me.
The Verdict:
Pros: Fun gameplay, great main character and enough of a challenge to engage even the most confident of console jockeys. Visually fantastic, the game also excels in presenting the player with jaw-dropping vistas that don’t actually hinder the action.
Cons: The music will drive you insane, unless you’re a massive fan of JPop, and triggers every single battle you get yourself into. It might not have bothered me so badly, but the entire game is backed to only four or five songs. Camera angles can hamper moving around and battle in a few instances.
Overall: I’m certain that there are people out there who won’t enjoy Bayonetta, be it for asthetic reasons or because they just don’t seem to get the tone of the whole game. But anyone who calls this game out over it’s female protagonist has either missed the point, or is straight up trolling. 4.5 out of 5. Buy it! Love it! Enjoy the cheesiness!
Bayonetta, as a game and as a character, has attracted some fairly heated discussion on the nature of female protagonists and sensuality in games. Although not the first over-stylised character – see pretty much every gaming character ever – she has drawn the wrath of feminists, those supposedly rare, idolised ‘girl gamers’ and the politically correct. Her overtly sexual nature, the way she is presented in the game and even the dimensions of her body are meant to be an affront to women everywhere.
My problem is, as a female, I Just. Don’t. Get. It. Why is she so offensive?
The argument is that in creating her, INSERT STUDIO NAME have designed a woman who is 6ft tall, with shapely legs longer than the rest of her body. They’ve taken the stereotypical Ideal Female Form and run away with it to a neon lit room, stretched it into something insane, then gave it stripper heels to wear and little else. Well, maybe they let her have her own hair as a catsuit. Bayonetta wears glasses and sucks on lollypops. When she *does* wear clothing, it gets ripped off at amazingly accurate places on her body with an accompanying moan. One of her attacks involves her twirling around a pole, legs spread wide. She dances sexily in some cut scenes. She walks with an exaggerated swagger, hand on hip.
But it doesn’t stop there…
She’s also presented as intelligent, sharp tongued, highly skilled and self reliant. She is physically powerful, aware of her sexuality as a weapon even as she spurns all attraction to herself with a quick wit. She is violent, sure, but it’s not against humans. In fact, she has a very strong protective instinct which is shown over and over as she puts herself on the line for a small child and an annoying boyish reporter. Bayonetta has self confidence, a sense of humour and a positive attitude, even if she is a bit standoffish. She takes responsibility for her actions and decisions without whinging, crying or blaming someone else.
This sounds suspiciously like a positive role model. Holy shit, SOMEONE CALL THE WHAMBULANCE.
