The greatest Bea Arthur lover to ever wear a mask ...

For those of you that are unaware, I like comics.  There’s no shame in it.  They’re awesome.  As such, from now on, I’m going to start writing about them.  Jess and I will also be doing a regular article regarding what’s new and what’s coming up in the world of the illustrated word!

Now, for those of you who did not see the Wolverine movie of late, Deadpool is yet another of Marvel’s anti-heroes.  He was created and grew to prominence in the late 80′s/early 90′s, right when The Punisher and Wolverine were at their violent peak.  Here’s a quick breakdown:  Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth (real name Wade Wilson) is a mercenary who has received a version of Wolverine’s much vaunted healing factor.  He was given this to counter a cancer which was ripping through his body.  The problem being that the healing factor is continually recreated cells to make up for the cancerous ones that are dying off … even those in his brain.  He is insane due to his brain continually growing over itself, but in a “cracks jokes whilst disembowelling people” kind of way.  He is, arguably, the best mercenary in the world, but due to his mental state is causing more problems than he should.

Okay, so now that you’re caught up I’m going to get straight to it: Deadpool is getting the biggest push of his franchise’s career, and it’s going to destroy him. As in the early nineties with The Punisher and Silver Surfer, Marvel is giving a multitude of titles to a character that simply cannot sustain them all.  Deadpool’s resurgance is due, in no small part, to the Cable & Deadpool series which was written perfectly by Fabian Nicieza.  It was a great title that worked well.  “Then why can’t the other titles?” I hear you ask.  First off, shut up.  This is my article.  Secondly, that title worked because the writer was perfect for the character.  Whereas, as is becoming very apparent, not every writer works quite as well with Deadpool.

Suited monkey with automatic machine pistols …

At the moment Deadpool is appearing in: Deadpool, Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth and Deadpool Corps (just released). As well as that there are plans for a Deadpool Noir series, which places him in depression era. On top of all of that he is currently the cameo of choice, and is currently has a regular appearance in X-Men. It’s at this point that I tell you that I am writing not as an impartial reviewer, but as an impassioned fan: CUT DOWN HIS TITLES! As a result of his over-exposure The Punisher did not return to his former glory until the mid naughties. To be fair, I don’t feel he has returned to his glory and won’t for still some time to come. This is, without a doubt, Deadpool’s future unless something can be done.

Will Marvel heed this warning? No, they won’t. They’ll milk this puppy dry. Yeah, that’s right, they’re going to milk a PUPPY dry. How’s that for a mental image? The other problem being Deadpool will have his own movie coming out in the future, starring the perfectly cast Ryan Reynolds. Once this movie comes out, there will be a whole new group of people willing to buy whatever Deadpool’s name is attached to. Slowly, the purity will die away and we won’t see Deadpool on our shelves for a few years.

So, ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy Deadpool whilst you can. The newly released Deadpool Corps does not appear to hold much potential, but Deadpool and Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth are still solid. As I say this is the first of what should be many articles in regards to the world of comicdom. Until next time gentle readers … DC SUCKS!

This was the guy whose opinion was so valued that they were trying to buy him off?

I just read an article about the gaming industry buying off video game reviewers in exchange for favourable reviews.  How long has this been going on!?  Was I in the crapper when this became an option?  First off, I think we need to take into account where the reviewer in question worked: Zoo Magazine.  Now, I’m not ashamed to say, I’ve purchased this publication in the past.  I’ve thumbed through it and, most shockingly of all, read all the articles.  There is, however, one thing that I never did: take any of the reviews seriously.  The movie reviews were angled towards boobs and explosions, and it was a similar affair for their game reviews.  I can remember them giving the most recent Leisure Suit Larry 5 stars.  That was a sad day.  Honestly, if you’re dumb enough to follow the review in Zoo you deserve a crap game.

Now, the article goes on to say that there have been incidents in the past of video games buying advertising to help their pressure with that specific site or magazine.  Is anybody really going to take a 5 star review of The Ashes Cricket 2009 seriously, when there’s a giant banner with Ricky Ponting swinging his bat right next to it?

Here I am then, putting my name on the selling block.  I’ll say Heavy Rain has replay value!  I’ll say that the add-ons to Borderlands for the most part haven’t been pointless!  I can even do music: St Anger is the best Metallica album!  Watch as my word becomes tainted and people form their own opinions.

At the end of the day, what does this whole “cash for comments” event really change?  Nothing is the answer.  This is the one industry where the reviewers are more or less a guiding tool.  Yes, you occasionally come across sites that have impeccable standards, but they are few and far between.  The buzz created by games and the splash the game makes in the first day or two of sales is what will ultimately dictate the game.

So here’s a flip of the bird to the game industry for trying to take more money after creating ET on Atari.  In my opinion, they still owe us.

The singer just got to the scream in "Won't Get Fooled Again"

In 1967, The Jimi Hendrix Experience released their seminal album, Are You Experienced?.  With Hendrix’s in-your-face style of guitar playing the world was turned on it’s head, and the face of rock and roll was never the same.  Fast forward 40 years until the next great Guitar God was among us … me, when I picked up the guitar and played Rock Band for the first time!  It has been quite some time since the world was able to sup from the Rock Chalice so freely.  Being the modest rock “sex cauldron” that I am, I won’t take all the credit.  Some of it must go to Harmonix Music Systems.

In late 2006, the dominant team of Harmonix and RedOctane were split up due to each company being bought out by different competitors.  RedOctane teamed-up with Neversoft to continue the Guitar Hero franchise, whilst Harmonix struck out on it’s own.  Thank God, is all I have to say.  Much like a pair of divorcing parents, these two competitors worked harder to win our love … and we walked away the winners!  This game took what Guitar Hero had started and took it to a whole new level.  All of a sudden you weren’t just a lone guitarist working your way through this tough world.  You had your friends there to back you up with so-so bass playing, mistimed drumming and horrible screechy vocals.  Life was good.

Thanks to Rock Band, I'm as good as Jeff Buckley ...

Now the question is raised: why didn’t Guitar Hero make it in if it was the first?  The main reason is that Guitar Hero took what was an existing idea in the arcades and brought it to the consoles.  A great idea, but it lacked that true party quality.  At the end of the day, you were just a couple of dudes strumming yourself to ecstasy.  With Rock Band it had a true party quality to it.  Everybody was having a laugh.  A similar singing style to SingStar made the game a lot more fluid, and suddenly it had you thinking that you could actually do this.

I also think that a major quality of Rock Band, and it’s subsequent series, is that it hasn’t turned it’s customers into shills.  Where Guitar Hero went overboard giving almost any two bit band it’s own game and leaving some crying in the shower eating short bread, Rock Band stayed pure.  Rock Band: The Beatles is an example of what can be done when real love is shown for the genre and the game itself.

Add to this a developer who cared about their community, who added multi-title song compatibility and fostered a DLC regime that has been bringing new songs to the game every week since it’s release.  A library of DLC songs that, I should add, has recently grown to be over 1000 tracks strong too.

At the end of the day, this game is here because it is an enduring series that honestly has the public excited about each new title that is coming out.  They have shown innovation at each new release and are continuing to push to bring new concepts and not fall into the pitfalls that their Neversoft-driven competitors have.  Harmonix are obviously the true innovators of the music game genre.  Rock Band has proven that it has what it takes to be played on your own, in a party, sober or drunk, and because of all this and more, we here at Armchair Diplomat have deemed it to be the No. 1 Game of the Decade!  Kudos to you, Harmonix, we’re raising our glasses right now!