Armchair Diplomat

Surprisingly few rats!

Let me preface this review: I’m not really a fan of this kind of game. In fact, frequent readers have probably heard/read about my flailing hatred of the RPG genre in general. Having watched Matt and various others walk through mindnumbingly boring landscapes, interact with dull voiced peasants while constantly being ’surprise attacked’ by various rats/mutant rats while searching for armour made out of a glass, for what seems like days on end, I have nursed extreme prejudice against all games of their ilk. I’ve tried playing them, but I can never get more than a couple of hours past character creation.

The one exception was Knights of the Old Republic, and even then I ended up quitting half way through because it was easier to watch Matt play than slog through leveling up and grinding. All I wanted to know was who the main character was, whether Bastilla was good or not and if you could hook up with Carth. This lead to my standard game playing trick of ’set it to baby-easy, play through, auto level up’. Weak as piss, right?

That’s probably what kills me. These games are meant to be immersing you in an interactive storyline that compels you to keep playing to find out what happens next. Nothing is more tedious to me than three seconds of storyline followed by twelve hours of collecting the hides from seventeen rats to make a rat blanket to warm a peasant who turns out to be a rat god with acne. Fucking … I don’t know. I just can’t justify putting in time into such a fruitless exercise. How does this help the story? It doesn’t, so I’m not interested. But obviously that doesn’t mean it’s a bad game. I’ve seen Matt play Elder Scrolls: Morrowind for thirteen hours straight, with very little idea of what is going on around him, so it must be engaging on some level. There’s some kind of ‘hook’ that allows days worth of time to be squandered on finding every candle in the map and putting it in your house.*

Finally, with Dragon Age: Origins, I think I’ve found what that hook is.

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Pfft, hoverboards don't work on lava ... unless you got POWA!

BioWare announced the next DLC pack coming to Mass Effect 2 today, and after long weeks of speculation it looks as if we’ll finally be getting our hover-tank on.  The “Firewalker” content package will include five new missions for you to explore, all utilising your new hard-fightin’, hard-drinkin’ hovercraft.  According to the updated Cerberus Network page:

The Hammerhead is a heavy assault vehicle that hovers over the battlefield at up to 120 kilometers per hour and features a guided missile system ensuring accuracy even during aggressive maneuvering.

I’m not certain what kind of “aggressive maneuvering” the new content hopes to contain, but if I understand this correctly you could be doing doughnuts in a Seven-Eleven carpark and still blow up your target with this baby.  Heck, Sherpard could be sans-pantsing the local cops out the window at the same time if he wanted to.

This might, however, just be a way of reassuring owners of Mass Effect 1, for whom “aggressive maneuvering” could entail driving upward at an 85 degree angle while trying to swivel the Mako’s turret.

Whatever’s in store, the Firewalker pack is due out late March, and will be free to those with Cerberus Network subscriptions.  Nice.  Head on over to the Cerberus page for official info and some more pretty pictures.

It’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it, and don’t mind poking around inside your savegame.  YouTube user HarroSIN has managed to unlock the final DLC character from Mass Effect 2 for use in the suicide mission towards the end of the game, and has video’d the results for all to see.  Say hello to Kasumi … or her voice at least:

As you can see, it’s unlikely that Kasumi’s player model has been inserted into the game yet (she looks like a run-of-the-mill FemShep), but you can hear plenty of her voice-over work which is obviously just waiting to be activated inside the code.  Here’s HarroSIN’s notes on how this all works:

- She cannot be added to the party. If you attempt to do so, the game will remove her with a warning message but will still allow you to continue.

- After adding her to your squad, the Port Side Observation Deck will become available, although there is nothing currently present besides empty space (the outside of the level map).

- Being a tech expert, she can successfully navigate the pipeline during the suicide run. She can also be used to escort the remaining Normandy crew back to the ship.

- It is possible for her to die during the suicide run if you do not upgrade the Normandy’s armor.

Along with all that, this video also seems to confirm that Kasumi has trouble determining the difference between a military commander and an old Elvis Presley song, but who knows what dark secret in her history caused that.  So at this point, unless someone is very good with their shooping skills, I’d say we can double-dog confirm that Kasumi is our final character.  Now if BioWare would just stop acting so shady about it all!

Check out the original video (UPDATE: or don’t bother, EA has had it removed), and thanks to One Last Continue for the heads up!

When Matt said: ‘Hey, go look up rapping about probing for minerals in Mass Effect 2‘, I thought he was making some kind of hilarious reference to probing Uranus.

Oh, how I wish he was.

BEHOLD!

This is Kabuto the Python’s “Those Minerals”, a triumph of geekdom, rhyme and bobbling frog heads.  If you dig it, you can download it for free here.

You can thank me later. Or … maybe not.

Shouldn't Cerberus Assault Armour come with three helmets?

Only a couple of days back we were speculating over the possible content included in the next free DLC pack for Mass Effect 2.  Well today Bioware’s community co-ordinator Chris Priestly has spilled the beans via the official forums, and they didn’t come in hovertank flavour:

On Tuesday February 09 2010 Mass Effect 2 fans will be able to get the new Cerberus Assault Armor and M-22a Eviscerator Shotgun DLC for free through the Cerberus network. It should be available for all fans, both on PC and Xbox 360 at 12:00pm Mountain Standard Time.

Cerberus Assault Armor
Cerberus assault armor is designed for shock troops, turn the tide of battle against creatures or forces that would decimate normal soldiers.
Increases heavy weapon ammo capacity by +10%
Increases shields by +10%
Increases health by +10%

M-22a Eviscerator Shotgun
The M-22a Eviscerator Shotgun is a longer-range shotgun with armor-piercing loads. This design also violates several intergalactic weapons treaties, so the M-22a is not distributed to militaries.

-Chris Priestly, suggesting you suit up

So now, while this wasn’t what everyone was expecting (and eight out of ten Salarian science teams apologise for building you up), further on in the thread Chris drops another post to set overzealous would-be tank owners at ease:

This is the next piece (or pieces since you get 2 things) of Downloadable contant coming for fans of Mass Effect 2. We still have more DLC on the way, such as the mentioned Hammerhead and other rumors, and we’ll have more information on more DLC in the future. Stay tuned.

So not only is the Hammerhead on the way, but “other rumours” too.  The only other major rumour circulating the DLC track is the final recruit, the thief “Kasumi”, which BioWare remains tight-lipped about.  That is, of course, unless Chris is for whatever reason taking into account a bevy of Shepard/Wrex reuniting slashfic, in which case one of the next DLC packs could be very disturbing indeed.

While “in the future” may not sound like a particularly reassuring time frame for the next announcement either, keep in mind this first pack is only a fortnight out from release, so BioWare’s DLC schedule is obviously rolling out steadily at this point.  Or at the very least, in a more timely fashion than Mass Effect: Pinnacle Station.

So enjoy your free armour and shotgun, folks.  There’s no concept art for the shotgun yet, but the Cerberus Armour has already recieved it’s entry in the Mass Effect Armoury page for you to peruse.  It’s already the 9th down here in Australia, but I guess we’ll have to wait for you Standard Mountain types to wake up.  More news if we get it, but until then all you can do is read over the announcement.

It's arrived!

I’m Commander Stu Shepard and this is my new favourite game on the PC. Guess I just gave away the ending of this review, huh…

Regular readers* will know the original Mass Effect was my pick for game of the decade and I know I wasn’t the only one eagerly looking forward to the next installment. That’s a lot of pressure, so have Bioware cracked or have the delivered?

.

..

Relax people, they’ve delivered.

Mass Effect 2 picks up a short while after the end of the first game and there’s a new menace in the galaxy. A species known as the Collectors are attacking human settlements and it’s fallen to Commander Shepard to assemble his or her team and put a stop to it. I won’t go into detail, but the story is involving and fans of the first game won’t be disappointed.

As promised, choices you made in the original game carry over. They don’t really affect the main plot but it’s a great touch. You did keep your save games, right? Read more

Concept art for the Hammerhead tank, as found in the Collectors Edition art book

The crew over at BioWare have been all a’Twitter this week, with the release and almost universal acclaim for the new Mass Effect 2.  Well a little while ago, they’ve also announced that a second DLC pack will be making it’s way to the game in the next couple of weeks.  And the best part of all?  Just like the Zaeed Massani content, it’s completely free for those already signed up to the Cerberus Network.  Nice to see that there’s still a developer out there who doesn’t mind adding the word ‘free’ to their DLC, BioWare.

As to the upcoming package’s content, there is all manner of speculation over the internet.  Eight out of ten Salarian science teams agree that this pack will be adding the M57 Hammerhead Hovertank, which was originally designed to replace the literally-all-terrain vehicle Mako from Mass Effect 1.  If so, then this means that we might actually get some planetary exploration back, instead of long, drawn-out scanning for minerals.  Quickly, launch moar probes while you still can!

Other rumours point to the 12th recruitable member of Shepard’s team, who is discoverable using a little debugging with the PC version.  The last member, known only by her placeholder name and image “Kasumi”, is a thief of some variety and is definitely probably not a crossover character from Dead or Alive: Paradise.  To my mind the tank seems more likely at this point, as we haven’t even heard BioWare discuss the last crew member, but there’s still an empty slot on the selection screen and a spare room in my Normandy, so they might surprise us yet.

I guess we’ll find out in the next couple of weeks.  For those with Twitter accounts, it’s no doubt worthwhile following the BioWare feed.  Gameplay developer Christina Norman is usually also quite free in her insider info.  Those wanting our opinion on Mass Effect 2, hold tight for the time being, as Stu is currently mopping the drool off his floor before writing his review.

With the recent release of Dragon Age: Origins (which I’ve still yet to get my hands on, stupid poverty!), everyone is once again enjoying the splendid quality that BioWare brings to their RPG titles.

But where do they go from here?  Mass Effect 2 is due out next year, but I think BioWare should consider teaming up with HBO to create a few choice TV show crossovers.  And I think I’ve got just the place to begin:

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Inferno Armour. Looks ... snug.

Finally dispelling the blanket “Q1 2010″ release date, EA has announced that BioWare’s much anticipated Mass Effect 2 will be available on shelves January 26th for America, and on January 29th for the rest of us.

Gamers who pre-order their copy through approved outlets will also be awarded with some bonus DLC.  Depending where you order, you’ll be picking up either the Terminus Gear (which includes armour and a heavy weapon) or the Inferno Armour.  Here’s the details:

The Terminus Armor is designed for use in extreme planetary conditions, increasing run speed and personal shields, and augmenting weapons with an additional magazine of reserve ammo. The M-490 Blackstorm Heavy Weapon generates a high-powered localized gravity well, accelerating particles to near-infinite mass, and ultimately expanding the selection of heavy weapons available to players when they gear up for combat missions in Mass Effect 2.

Players that pre-order Mass Effect 2 at other retail outlets will receive the potent Inferno Armor, which is used by officers to monitor battlefield conditions by recognizing elevated heart rates, and regulates sub-systems with extreme efficiency to allow for greater response times – together these abilities translate in-game into a negotiation bonus for Commander Shepard and an increase in run speed and augmented damage from combat powers.

Mass Effect 2 is being released for PC and 360.  Recent rumours that the title would also be available for PlayStation 3 seem to have been throughly squashed, with BioWare’s Jay Watamaniuk stating in no uncertain terms on BioWare’s forums that the game is only being released for 360 and PC.

There is a report circulating today based on an appearance I made in Poland yesterday. Seems there was a misunderstanding about ME2 coming to PS3.

Let me clarify today: ME2 is coming to PC and X360 only. Look for them both on Jan 26 in NA and Jan 29 in Europe.

-Jay Watamaniuk, BioWare’s Community Manager

I suppose this doesn’t exactly rule out the idea of an eventual port, but it seems pretty clear that it won’t be any time soon after the game’s release.

Oh well, only a three month wait then!  Take a gander at the press release for yourself, if you like.

Little known fact: Tattoos are as warm as any snow jacket

BioWare has posted up another of their Mass Effect 2 character introductions, care of Gamespot.

This video shows off Subject Zero, a “badass biotic bitch” who joins up with Shepard’s crew. So far we haven’t really seen too many Paragon companions, and Subject Zero certainly won’t be adding to the tally. She’s callous, aggressively sexual and loves violence … enough to make any member of the Australian Classification board to reach for the ban-stamp.

By the looks of things she’s chock full of biotic power, something her name obviously references somehow. Unconfirmed reports also say that she can shoot freezing ice from her hands and uppercut her enemies heads off while leaving the spine attached.

Just like BioWare’s community manager Jay Watamaniuk said during his walkthrough of the demo at E3, Mass Effect 2 seems to be shaping up as a lot darker than the original.

Still no solid release date however, so we’re still stuck with the mysterious “Q1 2010″.