Dante's Inferno. Abandon all hope of faithful adherence to the original, ye who enter here...

Disambiguation: This is a review of the anime released to accompany the recent video game of the same name.  It’s not a review of the video game itself and it’s definitely not a review of any old Italian poems.

I’m really not sure what it was about Dante’s Inferno – An Animated Epic that inspired me to pick up the DVD and actually watch it.  It’s intended as a companion to the Dante’s Inferno game that was released recently (it with the lulzy / offensive achievements) that I’ve never played and none of us have even bothered reviewing because frankly, the marketing for the launch seemed more interesting than the game itself.  So I guess I’m reviewing this as a work in its own right.

First up, both the game and the anime take some… erm… liberties, I guess you could say with Dante Alighieri’s original work.  It’s still broadly about Dante’s journeys through the nine circles of hell, accompanied for whatever f&*king reason by the Roman poet Virgil*.  So far, so broadly in line with the original.

It’s at this point things start to take a different line.  There’s some backstory, y’see, where Dante falls for a couple of the oldest tricks in The Book.  He makes some crazy promises to a woman, Beatrice, in order to get laid.  He also believes a priest who promises him something that sounds too good to be true.  Then he up and runs away to Jerusalem to join the crusades.  Once there he proceeds to make, all things considered, a bit of a cock of himself.  He returns just in time to find everybody at home has been murdered and Lucifer is dragging his darling Beatrice off into hell.  Turns out she must’ve been a pretty good root because our muscular-hero-of-dubious-intelligence gives chase through all nine circles of hell.  A bit of the old ultra-violence ensues.

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Visceral Games, probably best known for their work on the fantastic Dead Space, released the poetry inspired beat-em-up Dante’s Inferno this week, earning themselves a wide range of reviews.

While a hack ‘n slash based on medieval poetry sounds unlikely, we happen to think that Visceral have stumbled onto an untapped market here.  There is a wealth of gaming inspiration to be found in early literature, and it’s all royalty free!  Here’s where we suggest they begin on their next project:

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ASCII art from GamesRadar's source code

OK, so no matter my personal misgivings with the upcoming Dante’s Inferno, even I have to agree that this viral idea is pretty cool.

So EA has launched a website called Hell Is Nigh, which asks the user to input six passwords to activate a download.  In perhaps one of the most original ideas to hit viral advertising in a short while, EA has purchased advertising space on major gaming sites’ source code.

What you see on your left is actually a screen capture of GamesRadar‘s source code, discoverable by anyone with the inclination to right click their page.  In the last two lines of the ASCII art are Hell Is Nigh’s URL, and the password linked to this particular image.

Stalwart lovers of medieval poetry (and probably a few gamers too) have spent the day searching for the hidden art, which has turned up on site such as Digg, Kotaku, 1UP and IGN.  Being the helpful type, they’ve also gone and compiled the complete list of passwords needed, just in case you can’t be arsed looking them all up yourself.

All password entered, users are given a package of concept art, wallpapers and game music, all of which is subject to a hauntingly damnation-filled EA Licenceing Agreement, so you’ll find no overt spoilers from me.  It doesn’t matter however, as if you’re actually looking for spoilers I’ve already told you where to go and what to do to skip the entire exercise anyway.

So the rewards are not so amazing, but I’ll be damned if I’m not impressed with the creativity of the thinking behind this viral.  Now if only they had of made a bit more effort not making the game play like a bag of cocks, that would have been great.

Visit Hell Is Nigh, and show you’re getting into the spirit of things by being slothful and cheating on the passwords.  And thanks for the initial heads up, BrentCsutoras!

Even the roller-disco guy behind Master Gee seems unimpressed...

Have you ever downloaded a demo for a game, and it turns out it’s just no good?  I mean the gameplay’s average, the story’s a mess and the nudity deserves no wood!  But you try to play it off, think it artistic licence, or that the devs are just playing the fool … but then you impale Death with his scythe, shoot explosions from a cross and you realise “Nuh-uh, it’s bull!”

Well the ever-helpful folk over at Achievement Hunter have posted up a few interesting images this week.  They’ve managed to get their hands on the achievement list for the “Dark Forest” DLC pack that will be released for Dante’s Inferno sometime after it’s release.  It must have been a tough slog for a while there, but the leaked achievements manage to live up to the level of class we’ve come to expect from anything surrounding Dante’s Inferno.

Achievements like “Just the Tip”, “Wacko Jacko” and “Cruici-f**ked” could all be making their way to your gamer profile soon … well, maybe as soon as Dante’s Inferno is available for $20 in the pre-owned bin I guess.  The one that really caught my eye, however, was “Crapper’s Delight” which requires you to get covered in five different types of demon shit.

I must have missed the part in the Divine Comedy that covered that particular part in Alighieri’s journey.  Maybe my Latin translation isn’t up to scratch.

So not content with ruining old school literature, the developers are also looking to ruin some old school hip-hop for me by crowbarring in an awful pun based on the works of the Sugarhill Gang.  For shame, Visceral, for shame.  So deep was my face-palming that I was forced to find an image of Master Gee looking all: “Oh no they didn’t!”

Head on over to Achievement Hunter to check out the full list of DLC achievements.  They’re all just as high-brow, I promise.