Armchair Diplomat

If you’re one of our Australian readers, you may have seen people today muttering: “Oh gawd, he didn’t just say… he did?  Really?“. And if you’re one of the poor unfortunates who didn’t get where the random resentment was aimed at, well by all means let me fill you in.

Our fearless Federal Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy, Stephen Conroy, has asked Google to censor any content on YouTube that would fall into the Australian “Refused Classification” category.  In the process, he’s compared Australian internet policy to that of China and Thailand … as though that were a good thing.

Seriously:

Google at the moment filters an enormous amount of material on behalf of the Chinese government; they filter an enormous amount of material on behalf of the Thai government.  What we’re saying is, well in Australia, these are our laws and we’d like you to apply our laws.

-Stephen “I did it for the lulz” Conroy

If your friends or co-workers struck this pose today, it's likely they read this story...

To put this in context, China is one of the 13 countries that the Paris-based NGO Reporters Sans Frontières lists as an “enemy of the internet”, putting them in the same category as Iran and North Korea.

Way to put us in the same room as the enemies of the internet, Senator Conroy!

Google has (thankfully) told the minister that they won’t comply voluntarily, citing among other things the fact that YouTube already has stringent content guidelines, the fact that the request was way too broad and the fact that they’re threatening to leave the Chinese market to get away from increasingly stringent censorship demands.

Plus there’s small stuff like the Australian government probably doesn’t have any jurisdiction over foreign-hosted websites like YouTube anyway.

You can see the whole interview with the minister on the Hungry Beast website (be patient, they’re getting spiked traffic at the moment), which is where this particular Conroy failboat set sail.  You can also read the full article over at the Sydney Morning Herald for more info and be sure to use a full strength palm moisturiser to avoid face chafing.

"Excuse me, I've got faxes to send..."

If you’re crazy/bored enough man to just go ahead and write to SA Attourney-General Michael Atkinson on his whole “R18+ has to think of the children” political stance, then it’s most likely you’ll have made yourself familiar with his standard form letter reply that he sends out to absolutely everyone who mentions the whole issue.

Including his new political opponents, apparently.

The letter is almost beautiful in it’s sheer circular rhetoric.  In a series of mostly contradictory statements, it tries to outline Atkinson’s stance as sensible and well thought out, although all it proves to gamers is the man has no idea what he’s talking about.

Well Chris Prior from Gamers 4 Croydon, obviously a little sick of reading the same letter over and over, has published a rebuttal to the Attourney-General’s completely baseless rantings multiple page photocopy.  Here’s a snip:

Claiming that the infringement on adult freedom of choice is acceptable if it keeps the most extreme content off the shelves is problematic on a number of levels, the first of which being that ‘the most extreme content’ would still be kept off shelves with R18+ for games. The slightly less extreme content would be harder for children to access. As for the infringement being ‘acceptable’, that really isn’t his call. His job is to represent the people his decisions affect. A newer version of the Bond University study quoted by Mr Atkinson in his letter stated that roughly 90% of people were in favour of an R18+ classification for games, and to ignore that is anything but representative.

Talking further on the “trifling” impact on consumer choice of the lack of an R rating, he says that only a handful of games are RC, which must mean there is very little impact. What he doesn’t mention is that the overwhelming majority of games rated suitable for 15 year olds in Australia are rated higher elsewhere in the world. Over 90% of games classified MA15+ between June and November ‘09 were rated 17+ in the US. All but one was rated either 16+ or 18+ in Europe. The “trifling” impact is that games intended for adults – recognised as such internationally – are available to Australian children. This is a failing of a classification system that says – first and foremost – that “adults should be able to read, hear and see what they want”, while not providing an appropriate classification for that content.

-Chris Prior, about to sprout wings and halo

Can someone please get Atkinson in a face-to-face debate with these guys? He clearly knows nothing about console parental controls or the “depraved sex” filled games he claims to be protecting us all from. I get the feeling if he actually had to talk to anyone with a little knowledge instead of hiding behind a form letter he’d crumble like wet biscuit.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I could use a biscuit and a cup right now to calm the rageahol.

Check out Atkinson’s much repeated response, and Prior’s recent rebuttal.

Start thinking up some catchy chants, gamers

Apologies to all you international readers who probably don’t give a toss, but this is another news post for the AU members of the readership.  Jason Hill, writer of the Sydney Morning Herald’s Screenplay, has posted up an interview with David Doe, one of the primary organisers of the pro-R18+ political group Gamers4Croydon.  We’ve been seeing a lot of recent movement from the group, who plans to set up a candidate to oppose South Australian Attourney-General Michael Atkinson at the next election over his close-minded views on game classification.

Why should you care?  Because, unlike a lot of people, David Doe can actually talk sensibly about the issue at hand, thank Sauron:

Do you think the classification system just needs an R18+ rating, or a complete overhaul?

I think the addition of the R18+ rating would clear up most of the issues we are currently experiencing. At present, content that would be rated R18+ for film and TV is being inappropriately squeezed into the MA15+ rating. Parents should have a clearer indication on the type of content they are purchasing for their children. Ultimately, it is a parent’s right and responsibility to determine what type of content is appropriate for their children. The Classification Board helps give parents the information they need to make an informed purchase, but it is hamstrung by the current exclusion of an R18+ rating. If we include the R18+ rating, parents will have more information available to them to ensure that they can make the right decision about content they deem inappropriate for their children to be exposed to. And, like currently, they will continue to be able to use their console’s parental controls to restrict their children from accessing it.

-David Doe, who (take note) didn’t swear once the whole interview

Apparently the group has around half of the required voter signatures to register the party as a political organisation in South Australia.  The “Hon.” Michael Atkinson has responded to the news with usual fearmongering just the kind of tact we’ve come to expect:

The voters of Croydon will now be asked directly whether they want interactive games in which gamers score points by raping a mother and daughter, blowing themselves up, torturing human figures . . . killing people and taking drugs to improve their sporting prowess

-Michael Atkinson, obviously referring to Mario & Sonic at the Winter Games

Now there are plenty of things you can do to help out the cause, the primary one being to donate (all proceeds not used in campaigning go to Child’s Play), but other than that you can show your support by following Gamers4Croydon on Twitter and visiting their website.  Even if this thing tanks spectacularly, all you Aussie gamers owe these guys a huge debt for advancing the R18+ debate beyond pointless online bitching … something which I think we can all admit to participating in.

So the demo for Left 4 Dead 2 came out last night, and I’ve been playing it most of today.  I’ve got plenty to rant about, as far as our horrible Australian version goes, but I thought I’d go with one of the things I appreciated before that.

For instance, who on their playthrough bothered to make their way into the New Orleans bar in the first stage of The Parish?

Well anyone bothering to stop and smell the easter eggs will find that activating the jukebox inside initially loads “re:Your Brains”, a folk-styled song by Jonathan Coulton.  The song (which chronicles a zombie’s rational negotiation for his friend’s brains) is hilarious enough on it’s own, but just to put the icing on the cake, it also automatically triggers a zombie horde rush as soon as the chorus hits.

Pure gold.

Valve has obviously had strong ties with Coulton ever since his song “Still Alive” became perhaps the best known ending credits song in video game history, so it’s not surprising little nods like this crop up.

That aside, by playing the Australian demo I’m disappointed even further in our hilariously inept classification system.  The streets of this zombie infested hellhole are clean as a whistle, the zombies may as well have been made out of wood for the amount of blood that splatters out of them and if you removed the swearing I don’t see any reason why the game couldn’t pick up a PG-13 rating in other sensible countries.

So I’m not sure if I’ll be picking this up in it’s current state, I can see Left 4 Dead 1 staying popular in the AU for the time being.  Good thing Valve promised they’d still be supporting it, right? … Right?

Oooh, candy!

The results of the independent board review of Left 4 Dead 2’s RC status in Australia have been released today, and the results are not good news.  Expected, certainly, but not great.

The long and short of it is that Left 4 Dead 2, in it’s unedited form, will remain Refused Classification in Australia.  Here’s a cut:

In the Review Board’s opinion, Left 4 Dead 2 could not be accommodated within the MA 15+ classification. The computer game contains a level of violence which is high in impact, prolonged, repeated frequently and realistic within the context of the game.

In addition it was the Review Board’s opinion that there was insufficient delineation between the depiction of general zombie figures and the human figures, as opposed to the clearly fictional ‘infected’ characters. This was a major consideration of the Review Board in determining the impact of this game on minors.

So it looks like it’s Left 4 Cute Bunnies 2 for all of us Down Under, and I doubt EA will be putting up the cash to resubmit it again when they’ve been given no indication of anything changing.  You can take a look at the full report on the Classification Board’s website.

Keep something in mind: we share a format zone with the UK.  Just a random piece of information I’m just throwing out there.

Left 4 Dead 2: Now Australian Child Friendly!

After such fresh controversy, apparently the game that could so irrepairably damage Australia’s youth has been approved for release with an MA15+ classification.  Left 4 Dead 2’s modified Australian version has been given the thumbs up for release, albeit with a reduced violence level.  GameSpot AU got the official scoop from the Classifications Board:

While EA and Valve have been quiet about exactly what content had been changed in the “modified version” of Left 4 Dead 2, Australia’s Classification Board hasn’t been as silent. The Board has provided GameSpot AU with a copy of today’s Left 4 Dead 2 ruling, which states that the modified version of the game recently resubmitted “no longer contains depictions of decapitations, dismemberment, wound detail, or piles of bodies lying about the environment”.

So whoopty-doo, we’ll all be playing Left 4 Dead 2 “Think Of The Children” Edition down here in Australia.  I’m sure the changes “won’t” be patched within 12 seconds of the game’s release on PC.

You know, I can’t even be arsed writing a long diatribe about how stupid this entire situation is, suffice to say that while I really want to play L4D2, it probably could have been more use to the country as an example of how ridiculous our classification laws are.  If you can relate, here’s some further reading.

The in meantime, new gameplay footage has just been released showing off Left 4 Dead 2’s new multiplayer mode, called “Scavenger”.  If you’re an Australian, well, just ignore all that melee violence while you check out the new footage.  Thanks GameVideos!

Left 4 Dead 2 - Australian Edition

LAMENT! Lament once again every Australian gamer (or at least those of you who didn’t sign the boycott) as your country mercilessly “thinks of the children”.

The Australian Classification Board website recently posted up the results of a classification application for Valve’s zombie-centric Left 4 Dead 2. The long and short of it is: the game, in it’s current form, has been labelled RC (or “Refused Classification”). This means that while we’re all free to play and enjoy Left 4 Dead, and all the zombie shotgunning and exploding heads that entails, apparently the sequel strays so far from the subject matter that it can’t be allowed to reach out sensitive Australian eyes.

My guess is that this would be because of the new melee weapons. Shooting zombies with a bolt-action rifle through the skull is fine, because we all know in our heart of hearts that at least the zombie didn’t suffer (much like they don’t suffer when you proximity bomb a whole crowd of them). But throw a sledgehammer into the mix, and all of a sudden we’re in all sorts of trouble with morality.

I’m proud to be Australian, but there are just days you want double facepalm. Pay no mind however, all you Australians in the audience, because it won’t remain RC for long. A slightly gored-down version will be resubmitted (a-la Fallout 3) and we’ll be “allowed” to play again.

To be fair, it’s almost getting kind of dull hearing about every game that needs to go through the entire process down here.

But I’ve just got one consideration for all of you. If the Australian Government’s even more ridiculous plan for a mandatory internet censorship was in effect right now, it would technically be illegal for me to be talking about this now, considering the game’s current status. Under the proposed law, fines can be issued for promoting and supplying links to refused classification material.

Well I’ll just leave this here then, see if we get any emails from the AMCA.

Even more reason people should be supporting it’s downfall. And while your at it, can someone PLEASE fucking explain to KRudd that R classifications shouldn’t just be for movies?

[Addendum: Apparently I'm right, it's the melee weapons that tip the classification over the edge, as evidenced here on GameSpot, who have posted up the clarification from the Classifications Board]

More news on the Censordyne campaign against Australian internet censorship: The initial plan, for which they were raising funds, to show the parody ad on Qantas flights heading to Canberra the week before Parliament is due to reconvene has been shot down after Qantas refused to air the ads due to a policy of not showing “political advertising”.

The funds won’t go to waste however. As great as it would have been to show the ad to every politician taking a Qantas flight before the next Parliament sitting, the funds raised will now be going toward airing the ad on prime time television, which will hopefully help bring the issue further into the public eye.

Read some more over at The Age, including the makers of Sensodyne toothpaste considering their legal standpoint to sue someone. If nothing else, this campaign makes for some interesting drama!

In related news, Communications Minister Stephen Conroy was awarded the title of Internet Villan of the Year at this year’s Internet Service Providers’ Association Awards. Couldn’t have chosen better, for my money. Congratulations, Senator!

This post is for all our Australian readers (although if you’re international and want to donate, I’m sure no-one will say no):

Raising awareness of the Australian government’s plans to censor the internet is always a good thing, which is why I’d like everyone to check out this anti-censorship advertisement over on GetUp!  The ad basically takes a lighthearted approach to point out the proposed filter’s many flaws.  Fundraising is currently underway to get it broadcast on TV and, here’s the sneaky part, on Qantas flights inbound to Canberra:

The Government’s test trials on internet censorship are about to end, the results are nearly in and they’re looking to announce their plans to filter all internet activity.

We know exactly where every politician will be – on a Qantas flight to Canberra as Parliament resumes. Your contribution will allow us to show this ad directly to them, and their staff, making it an issue they can’t avoid.

-Censor This? campaign goals

Head on over to the fundraising page, check out the campaign site, and donate if you can.  They’ve raised over $35,000 so far, which will go towards broadcasting costs.  Given that even Child Protection agencies in Australia are against the mandatory filter now, this issue needs more coverage in the mainstream media!

There are times where I’m proud to be an Australian, with our national sense of humour and mateship, and then there are times like these where I think we truly must be one of the most backward countries on earth.

He's going to hit your interwebs from his epic mount for critical damage

So under the new government proposed internet filter, supposedly to be installed at ISP level, further to not being able to access the most vanilla of porn we’re now also told that apparently we can’t see or purchase any game that’s not suitable for 15 year olds. Seriously? 15 year olds? To put this in perspective, apparently this means Australians shouldn’t play a game targeted for anyone older than HALF of the average gamer’s age.

This is a simple extention of the filter’s denial of anything that’s been “refused classification” under our archaic classification system. Since we lack an R18+ rating, this means any game over MA15+ will be blocked by our filter.

Still don’t see the fuss? Well think about this: Australia as a country has refused classification to MMPORPG games. So if the filter is installed, Australian players of World Of Warcraft can forget playing ever again as the filter bans access to servers.

The saddest thing of all, of course, is that the implementation of the clean feed doesn’t actually mean ANY of these things. As the filter can be sidestepped by any twelve year old with access to Google and the word “proxy”, I feel even more shame about our country that we’re idiot enough to install such an expensive waste of time and resources. In the middle of a global recession of all times.

The article is right, however, when they say this is going to cause backlash of even greater proportions. Hopefully if nothing else, this highlights the need for an R18+ rating in Australia.