Armchair Diplomat

Feel free to stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

So we’ve been hearing about it’s development for a little while now, but today was the big PR push for Mana Bar, Brisbane’s one and only gaming ‘n’ grog nightspot.  Being an admitted fan of combining games and alcohol, the idea was always going to intrigue me.  Here’s some delicious press release:

Opening in February 2010, The ‘Mana Bar’ is the first licensed venue that will allow people to enjoy a drink while playing the latest video game systems.

Located Australia in the heart of Brisbane’s entertainment district the Mana Bar will feature a stylish geek chic interior design with multiple LCD screens attached to the walls with playable next-gen console systems. The venue will be accessible to a wider casual market, while still catering to the hardcore gamer crowd.

Entry to the venue will be free, with no charge to play the games. The Mana Bar has a 50 person maximum capacity, and will host many special events such as game release parties, guitar hero tournaments, trivia nights, launch events, and many more.

The whole concept has been cooked up by four Australian gaming enthusiasts: AustralianGamer’s ‘Yug’ Blomberg, Creative Assembly’s Pras Moorthy, Shay Leighton and … some other guy I didn’t quite catch the name of.  Must have slipped my mind.  Oh well, I’m certain some other site may have dropped his name at some point.

In all seriousness, I’m interested to find out how the whole thing goes when the bar opens up in late February.  Is it going to be a fun, creative place where gamers can hang out and drink, or simply a controller snatching console camp-a-thon?  I’d seriously love to find out the structure the boys are putting into place for use of the machines.  Meanwhile, I’m going to assume that the dubious drinking profits from a maximum of 50 engrossed gamers will be nicely offset by lucrative gaming industry functions and events.

Still, with no cover charge and free games on tap all night, it certainly sounds like something to check out for all you Brisbane folk.  Head over to the official site for more details as they come to hand!

Mic's over there, buddy!

Have you ever fancied partaking in your own plastic rock science experiments?

Well Harmonix agrees with you, so they’ve started up a tentative program for bars and pubs to begin their own Rock Band: Bar Nights.

You know how everyone was saying that a poker table was the new pool table for night-clubs?  Well shelve those newly felt-covered beauties, club owners, because Harmonix would prefer you to replace those with a Rock Band set.  The registration site is now open for any bars who want to register their interest.  On top of receiving free promotion from the Rock Band support team, clubs will also apparently be given full access to the complete set of available DLC.

It doesn’t sound like too bad a deal, really, every bar needs a Tuesday night activity, and if Harmonix is providing the PR it could turn out to be a crowd pleaser.

Just a final reminder for all gamers in the Victorian metro: Tonight is the Xperience Xbox fundraiser at the State Library of Victoria, which is been organised by the team over at OzBoxLive.  Entry is free, and tickets will be sold to raise funds for the Royal Children’s Hospital.  There’s a whole tonne of Xbox swag to be won, including an Xbox Pro bundle and heaps of games. Full details of the raffle can be checked out here.

Both Mark and I will be in attendance, feel free to come up and say hello.  We’ll be wearing brown polo shirts (plus the giant shock of blue hair I have at the moment can be a little hard to miss!).  You can probably find me skulking around anything related to Guitar Hero.

Tickets are still available up until 3pm EST today, so if you fancy a night of gaming for a good cause, head over and reserve your place.  We’ll catch you there!

For all our Australian readers (Victorians in particular), this piqued my interest when I read it on Twitter: The crew over at OzBoxLive are helping to organise a fundraiser called “Xperience Xbox” to take place at the Victorian State Library.

All the proceeds are going towards the Royal Children’s Hospital. Entry is free, and raffles will be held through the night with prizes and giveaways.

Me and Mark already have our spots reserved. After all, of the many places we’ve played Xbox, could any of them be as classy as the State Library? The answer is no, of course.

The event takes place on the 17th of July, from 6.30 through to 9pm. Raffles and games throughout the night. To book your place, pop over to the event site, and we’ll see you there! As much credit as we can to OzBoxLive also, for helping to set up this shindig!

Last night the missus headed off with friends of our from the Herald Sun Geek Panel to see the preview of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.  Whilst in attendance, she also got to have a play of the movie’s game equivalent, and offered me up a rather quick preview of the game via text message.  I’ll repeat it here verbatim for the readers:

News for your blog: Transformers game just as good as movie.  Cryptic!

-Wife plays game, damages sarcasm detector

While she did have some rather amusing pictures for me, the “nasty” security type person ended up making her delete them from her phone, so no such luck there.  But if any of the colourful language she used to describe the film also applies to the game, well, you might want to hold on until the reviews on this title folks!  She wouldn’t tell me if this movie included Roddimus Prime lighting anyone’s darkest hour either.  Some of the secrecy surrounding the game must have worn off on her.

Ball-breakers!

If you’re a Melbournian like myself, you’ve probably heard about the current scheduling war going on over AC/DC’s upcoming tour and the Australian Football League’s preseason games.

First of all, how many people actually go to the NAB Cup games?  It’s certainly not going to be 180,000 people paying at least $100 each for a ticket, that’s for sure, which is why I think AC/DC won’t be going anywhere.

Secondly, AFL should shut their mouths and look at the positives.  Preseason has long been the domain of stupid trial rules, and this shouldn’t be an exception.  Can anyone actually imagine the level of awesome an AFL game played around an AC/DC concert could be?  Here’s my proposal: AC/DC will obviously be taking the centre of the stadium, so that can leave each end of the field free for the goal posts.  To cross the field to their goals, players must navigate the 20,000 stong general admission mosh pit.  No rough conduct fouls, and while “For Those About To Rock” plays, every time the cannons fire another three footballs are fired into the playing field.  M-M-M-MULTIBALL!

Sounds epic to me.

So last night was our trip to see Dethballet, by the Brutal Ballet Company.

Let me tell you, it sure was brutal.

The 11.mov … err, story of the piece would have us believe that six ballerinas were kidnapped, emprisoned (behind what appeared to be a primary school fence), beaten and forced to rehearse a ballet set to the music of Metalocalypse’s DethKlok. At least I assume that was the story, it was projected onto a large drop-down screen with three minutes of black silence either side. The theatre-head inside me was cringing at the AV elements. There were also inserts of DVD extras too which made little sense to the narrative, leaving the audience pondering their inclusion. And the ballet itself?

Let’s just say that the ballet was not good. The six ballerinas were actually what appeared to be five proficient ballerinas and a stilted, frightened girl who’s main job was to twirl her hair. Oh, and her secondary job was to pull the focus of any scene she was in by being so strangely out of place. Tell the truth, that kind of wrapped the performance up for me. The rest of the ballerinas danced fine (not amazingly, but well enough certainly), but no-one really seemed to be paying them much attention because they were watching the other girl. I lost my composure a bit in the second half and found that I couldn’t help laughing at the pure awkwardness of the situation.

So the ballet part of the evening, not so great.

However the cover band, KlokBlok, were worth the price of admission alone. They produced very good covers of the majority of tracks from the DethAlbum and were beloved of the crowd of metal fans. The singer’s voice held together fairly well with the constant gutteral growl, and the solo’s were proficiently pulled off (maybe with a little help from Skwisgaar Skwigelf’s Advanced Hand Finger Wizard Mater Class). Both drums and bass were terrific, even if the bass player didn’t give the crowd a “bass solo”.

Mark left at interval to explore other avenues, that would encapsulate his review of the show …

So in the end, great music and odd floorshow was all that could be concluded from the night. I enjoyed myself, but not for the reasons I would have originally assumed.

Chalk and cheese could taste fantastic, you never know

Tomorrow the crew is off to see Dethballet, performed by the Brutal Ballet Company.  What is it, you may well ask?  Well it’s a ballet performance set to the music of Metalocalypse’s DethKlok.

And I’m not sure on a scale of one to win where it’s going to fall.  I’d guess at least a nine.  Definetely some amount of win anyway.

Promotional posters first caught our eye one day when we were wandering with a friend in St Kilda looking for a peri-peri chicken dispensary.  After a short “WTF?” moment, I vowed that we would see this bizarre combination of the arts and death metal.  And sure enough, tomorrow night is the night.

I’ll post my thoughts tomorrow on the result!

This post will make the most sense for Australians, given that other countries may very well have heard about it.

It’s midnight.  I’m four fifths drunk and have just returned from going to watch sport.  Sure, our site is called Armchair Diplomat, but every now and again you just have to man up and peel yourself out of your couch groove to go and sit down somewhere else in public for a few hours.  And tonight, well, it was definately worth the trip.

The Victorian Roller Derby League is small.  In fact, it has only two teams, which face off every two months or so.  But even with only two teams, they’re bringing Melbourne the awesomeness that is the sport of Roller Derby.

Seriously folks, check the boxes with me on this one.  It has: girls (tick!), rollerskating (tick!), alcohol (tick!), hot pants (tick!), full-body contact (tick!), cock rock (tick!) and my personal favourite, PSEUDONYMS!  It’s true!  Fuck your real name, let’s face it, it’s drab and the cool kids are laughing at you behind your back.  That is, or course, unless you’ve got yourself a roller derby name.  Parents name you Jane? You’re now Calamity Pain.  Stuck being a Gary? You’re now Bound For Gory, or any other cheesey 80’s rock song that your name rhymes with.

I can’t believe that a sport where girls collide into each other on rollerskates hasn’t yet gained country wide recognition.  And yet we’re stuck with the same old crap on One HD, watching the boring ass European Poker Championship, as players sit, look at their cards and then fold if it’s anything under a jack.  And this is from a guy who LIKES poker!  Seriously, let me just check what’s on the line up for channel One (Australia’s brand spanking new dedicated sport channel) tonight …

… well shut my mouth, it’s four hours of 20-20 IPL cricket!  Then we’re on break until 4am, when it’s time for a dose of Omnisport, the “daily dose of international sports news and highlights from a European perspective“. Oh, and it’s a repeat! Which daily dose is it today then, 13th of May 1998?

It took me a small while to understand the rules, and after only one match, I certainly don’t understand them fully.  But as the crowd seemed to indicate, you don’t really need to understand what’s going on to enjoy the game.  Especially when you’ve got a few (read: many) reasonably priced alcoholic drinks inside of you.  The friends I went with didn’t even seem to worry about picking a team to support.  We were all more concerned with which team seemed to be playing more aggressively.  And hotdogs.  Mmm, hotdogs…

It’s not quite the fire-hose obstacle course of Jackie Chan’s Battle Creek Brawl, but it’s as close as you’re going to get locally, and it’s damn awesome. Victorians should be getting your butts along to the next event!

And interstate Australians, there is probably a league near you too, check your local Google for details!

VRDL site…
And on Facebook…